::my journal::

2010-06-22T18:00:00.001+08:00

I cannot talk back to my parents

I cannot talk back to my boss

I cannot talk back to my manager....

This sucks. When will I get respect.

2010-06-07T08:56:00.000+08:00

I always wonder how anyone can work with passion and absolutely LOVE his or her jobs. Like wake up every morning with energy and no procrastination, thinking of online games you can play at work while brushing your teeth and drag your feet to work. How did they do it? After ‘camping’ in Face book (due to ultimate boredom at work and unrestricted internet access), I realized, I have 2-3 friends out of 300+ who love their jobs. About 100+ are still studying, another 100 jobless or in national service the remaining in limbo... I think only a full 50 are working. If you remove about 20+ who do not really know if they are allowed to make an exaggerated proclamation of love about their jobs... about 1 in ten love their jobs. – I hate this, because I am on the ‘otherside’. The view on the otherside is sad. I mean it, all I do at work is look forward to ‘cheating’ my lunch (that extra 5-10 mins makes my adrenaline rush like mad) then sms-ing my dad saying ‘can go home earlier today?’. Every day I crossed dates to the end of my probation so I can leave without leaving a bad impression. Why am I living like this... sometimes I wonder. Is it because I am in the wrong job or do I hate working...period. If so, I am so screwed. Last night, I asked my boyfriend if I complained as much in my last job as a personal assistant to the biggest baby in the world. Which, for your information sounds alot like heaven to me (as I am in hell). He said I did complain... ALOT. This is not good... Either it mean that I am a bitter person who secretly enjoys hating everything (like Shrek in Shrek 3 or my manager) or I hate working or I hate waking up early. 45 working days and counting... that is another 450 working hours and 27,000 working minutes. AND YES I AM STILL CROSSING OUT DATES :(

2010-05-31T08:47:00.003+08:00

I believe the 'greate being above' is always watching over me. For instance, putting me in situations which I hate to be in to make me a 'stronger' person (I prayed to be whenever I'm in some crisis). Therefore, I am now in a company that is stingy (no. 1 hated trait), narrow minded (no. 2) and serious moral problems (no.3). These 3 are like the classic favourites on my hate-list. 1) Stingy My cubicle is very near the pantry, thus, I can hear almost everything. My ladyboss who is also our human resource manager ( I believe it was a parachuted postion) said loudly to our general secretary 'No company in Singapore has a pantry that provides everything OKAY. I believe we are the only ones that pay for the hefty electrical bills (generated from the microwave, kettle and fridges that are ever so common in other companies). You guys should feel appreciative but instead, you are helping with the upkeep.' Firstly, the pantry is NOT DIRTY.In fact, it is one of the cleanest I’ve ever seen (corporate-style). Even though the company does not employ a real cleaner (done by a male Bangladesh worker), the female employees help clean up as and when after they have used it. I’m not sure what the ladyboss is angry at, but it seems to me that whenever she sees the detergent half-empty or a speck of something2 on the basin, she will start her row. The funny thing is, if she’s such a clean freak (the inference I make from her daily row about hygiene and how some type of fungus will grow and we’ll all die) why does she have mouldy cheese in her private fridge, rotten chilly and a disgusting odour everything you open the door? Therefore, I just think that the part on ‘giving’ (allowing its employees to use the pantry-which all companies do) is not sincere. Therefore, it becomes STINGY. How can you not allow your employees to use the pantry just because they forgot to re-fill the detergent or the soap? 2) Narrow minded They hired me because they wanted ‘new blood’. But so far all the ‘new blood’ that I’ve been injecting has been rejected because they ‘don’t like’ or they ‘don’t think I understand’ or they find it ‘not special’. I’m like ‘WTF’.... and ‘WHY DID U HIRE ME IN THE FIRST PLACE-WASTE OF TIME!’. In addition, they have this thing of not approving your leave if you are not in a dire situation or when feel like a short holiday. 3) Serious moral problems Whenever an employee is sick, medical bills cannot be claimed in full, only a certain percentage, because it is deemed as unfair to the healthy employees. To me, it sounds like the healthy employees are jealous of the benefit and would not mind to exchange it for poor health, just so they can get some benefit. LAME, STUPID AND FIRST TIME IN MY LIFE HEARING THAT SOMEONE WOULD RATHER BE SICK. There you go -my dire situation.... I am crossing dates to my pay days and the end of my probation so I can lie to them that I love my job but would want to pursue a post graduate when I feel stupid (for killing unnecessary brain cells at work) everyday.

2010-05-20T09:41:00.004+08:00

Work=Fighting sleepiness whilst being buried under a stack of paper

Yes.. that's my bigger challenge everyday at work. I just cannot stay awake. LIKE WHY??!! I think I have extra sleep genes in me (look at the way my brain is conversing with itself).

Before I blog about my imaginary Greece trip, I wanna talk about something else...

TO ALL FRIENDS WHO REMEMBERS MY BIRTHDAY. PLEASE TRY AND FORGET DENISE GETTING A YEAR OLDER. THIS IS TO PREVENT DENISE FROM STEPPING ON PRETTY FLOWERS N STARVING CUTE FURRY ANIMALS.

Thanks.

Ok... I know I'm over reacting cos I'm only 23 (I was so tempted to type 21) but being a gerascophobic, this might well continue into my 30's..40's..50's..60's..70's.. ... deathbed. IF I still have this blog going on I might be a really good case study for gerascophobic studies for kids in college/uni.

Because I am going to avoid my birthday, I can't seem to stop thinking about it. As if thinking about it will eliminate the pain of 22nd May. :s... Ok I'm beginning to not make any sense.

Now let me start on my imaginary modern prilgramge (a.k.a holiday) to the Greece that is broke. OK... where was I again?....

2010-05-10T08:44:00.003+08:00

I always feel compelled to blog when I am working because my procrastination and complaints have to go 'somewhere' and usually if you throw it here, it doesn't involve a resignation or cross-fire curses. SO... here I am. I want to blog about this particular person in my office. I cannot remember his name but he is damn bloody irritating. SO irritating and disrespectful, it is easy to pluck up courage to go to his table and punch him right in the crotch. Even though he might not feel a thing cos my arms aren't exactly the wonderwoman material but its worth the embarasment. Let's get to WHY he is such a pain in everywhere else in the body... He is an engineer and he always demand things from people. Yes, like 'Why u like that??' instead of.. there's a million better ways of asking. He disrespect his colleagues... One who happens to be an Indian (from India; with a bachelor's degree) and a manager like him too. He just doesn't CARE.. and I admire him for chalking up so many enemies from his day-to-day operations. If he gets run over by a truck he wouldn't even know who is it because its simply impossible to keep track up. The way he talks on the phone is crazy too.. he just assumes everyone is deaf. If it were an e-mail, half of the text will be '!!!' and caps locked all the way. My room is about 10metres away and I can really clearly how he talks to his workers/purchaser/engineer/ partners. Its disgusting. Why why why isn't my room on another floor or another country away from his....

Its Monday and mine is blue-er than ever...

Wouldn't it be nice?

2010-03-07T23:05:00.002+08:00

Wouldn't it be nice if the world is smaller? I want to travel travel travel... ! *sings* Making my 'footprints' in new places... only my shadow will get a free ride so farr.. Hope friends can afford the time SOON.

2010-02-28T21:39:00.002+08:00

I used to have this best best best friend when I was in primary school through to secondary school. We were sooo close and the best thing was we only lived 10mins walk from each other. We never stop talking to each other and we tell each other almost anything. Actually, she tells me everything (or so I thought) but I didn't. Because she was a judgmental person so I have to watch what I tell her, if not, I won't become this 'perfect' (someone she perceives me to be and not a perfect person) friend for her. Then there are occassions where it was too much to handle and I burst out crying in front of her and started pouring everything. She has this 'thing' that makes me think that my problems are immature and do not require much consoling. Therefore, during my childhood times, I always feel that my problems are not as important. So, we only talked about hers or gossiped about others'. In conclusion, I accepted and lived with the fact that she's a narcissist. I was so 'into' her that whenever she told me she hated a certain person, I would follow suit loyally. PSLE came and we went on our separate ways, she went to a better school and I went to a school with green uniform. She said, we all (all people in Hong Kah Secondary School) look like cleaners. Surprisingly, I wasn't even angry because I was so trained to agree with her. In secondary school, I made another bunch of great friends. These group listened to me and empathize me whenever I have to go for band practices (which I hate deeply), had bad break up (u know girls n boys won't know a thing about love when they are 13 or 14) and some girls who bullies me just b'c they think that one of the girls' ex was after me. Then I thought to myself 'why should I let this BESTEST friend of mine walk all over me?' (considering the no. of times she cancel our outings to go out with her 'cooler' bunch of secondary school friends (yes! those were her actual words)). We went out on and off and before prelims, I just stopped talking to her cold turkey. Because she just cannot contain her joy of doing so well in front of me (didn't do so well)... I was so pissed at her insensitivity. Anyway, years after, I met her dad on the bus. He said that we should continue being friends cos.. (i can't really remember). Then, I really cannot be bothered. Because I know she hadn't changed because she bad-mouths my cousin (who was her JC classmate) to me when we met somewhere. Now, whenever I think of what she was, I STILL feel angry and disgusted. :s... Have I not grown at all? Part of me is curious how she's doing now.. I'm not sure why I secretly hope that she's still the same narcissist years ago. :s... I think I just want to be 'right'. There you go, a hatred buried for about 10 years, and I am still working on letting go. I hope one day I can say to her 'I wish you all the best'... Ok, thinking about that reminded me how she talked about my cousin.

2010-01-31T22:14:00.003+08:00

After observations and some hearsay... I am confident to say this

The society does not condone imperfections as much as we 'thought' we do

This is after a Thursday morning bus ride to work on a handicapped friendly bus. Whenever someone's on a wheelchair, the bus driver would have to get off the bus and open the backdoor to lift a ramp out. Don't jump to the end of this thinking that I have opinions about the bus driver. NO. What I have is about the society. Handicaps are around us since....as long as normal humans are around. SO, its not like yesterday you would expect a handicap amongst us. But why do we have smartphones, wifi and i(pod/phone/pad/etc..) before someone decides to buy a bus with a ramp. I would think the ones SBS has is the older version, because if we would have remote controlled toys, air-con, fan, tv.... THEN WHY DIDN'T ANYONE BOUGHT A BUS WITH A REMOTE CONTROLLED RAMP??!! There you go, because nobody saw the true need for that. We only see needs of the majority (with functioning limbs but too lazy to walk to the fan/gate/aircon....etc... See, who are we to say we deserve to go heaven when even the needs of the handicapped is being ignored for as long as... (idon'tevenknowwheretostart)... I hope people will at least offer to help... Don't even get me started on some employers who don't want to hire them intentionally.

2010-01-24T16:30:00.006+08:00

It is my belief that pineapple tarts maybe the next multi-million dollar business.. Because I bought my first bottle of pineapple tarts from a anonymous bakery at Jurong west for a whooping $10.80! When I was containing my 'why so expensive?!!' explosives of shock in me... all the aunties around me thought it is reasonably priced. Mind you $10.80 is the small bottle (about 25 tarts). Can you imagine the markup?!! Actually, I can't because I think the pineapple uncles are also selling their prized Malaysian pineapples at ridiculous escalated prices ($2-3 per pineapple)... but STILL $11/ bottle.. its very good money for a heartland bakery... I still bought a bottle because its the 'not too sweet or sour' pineapple tart that is really hard to find. To me, its the Chanel of Pineapple tarts... yumms. :D

2010-01-22T19:35:00.002+08:00

I wrote on some old friend's wall asking him how is he... he replied 'What a buzzkill...' and I deleted him off FB. He's an old friend whose ex had fake boobs.. I decided he's still the bigger baby. You just can't have a 'relationship' (real or normal or the ones where you say 'i love you' and not your boobs) with someone who went under the knife to have bigger boobs.. Its just so 16 year old frat boy.

2010-01-17T18:56:00.003+08:00

I hate 2 things most... 1) To shower 2) Pee-ing.. Because whenever it comes to these 2, I get super lazy... ZZzzzZZ... Friends would know I ish not stinky ok...

2010-01-13T17:23:00.002+08:00

Whenever I blog from my office desk, it would mean that I'll be logged off from my gmail and be 'unreachable'... So I have to be quick! I hate my job. Its so.... taking care of my boss's shit basically. Its just a lot of follow up without knowing that its done. Thats what I do, creating double standards for nothing. :S... since I'm hourly paid I don't mind 'wasting time' but after sometime, it gets really irritating and frustrating. It's just not challenging in a good way, and thus, I'm not motivated... I'm thinking of leaving, but I'm not getting any interviews... I'm so depressed.

2010-01-12T13:58:00.000+08:00

I will blog more!

I will blog more!!!!

2009-12-22T00:24:00.002+08:00

Hmms.. getting a bit lazy to blog ever since work started. :( I know its a bad sign when I start acknowledging it, it would mean that you guys will see less of me. I will TRY.... everyday. :) Btw, I find Xiaxue's whole love story thing very touching... I really wish her all the best. There's always someone for everyone... IF Steven Lim can find his soulmate who is not into his 'money' or 'fame' or.... any kind of 'craziness', its really .... *shakes head*...

2009-12-09T14:38:00.003+08:00

I am back in SINGAPORE But I'm not feeling it... :( I miss Indo badly and the times I spent with the boy. How come I don't have the mad rush I used to have when I'm about to return to Sg from Melb... Hmph...

2009-12-06T01:00:00.011+08:00

The 1st of the 3 weddings that I'm invited to...

The following lady has a erectable peacock feather skirt... I was seriously amazed. Guests not so in awe... Guests Then camera screwed up n refused to turn on... -.- Then we came home n cam-whore like mad due to the lack of it at the reception.. -.- Got those typical wedding pictures vibe right...? :)

2009-12-01T01:39:00.002+08:00

These are just some new topics that my favourite blogs are raging about... ... trip to nepal... ... trip to disneyland... ...endless clubbing and partying at some random 22nd birthday... ...new luxury shoes/bags/ just things we can't afford... How to compete if I am not doing anything? I only surf facebook and look at their blogs... my life is... quite boring. :(

2009-11-26T00:19:00.001+08:00

Ok... now the tough part (picking out new blogskin) is done.. I'm left with the archiving... can someone tell me how? It just keeps shifting to the extreme left in black font on black background!... Hmm... or can someone teach me how to add '>>>older posts' like most xanga blogs... ^^

2009-11-25T22:22:00.001+08:00

Denise Lee needs help with her skin..... I can't edit text on my com... :( I want my polka dots bacckkk.... badly..

2009-11-23T16:21:00.003+08:00

I finally got my polka dots back! Hurrrraaayyy.....more posts coming! Actually.... I didn't do anything to get my polka dots back.. I just didn't blog n occassionally check in...so... its MEANT TO BE THAT I MUST BLOG... MUAHAHAHAHA....

2009-10-17T15:43:00.000+08:00

Its been too long... is anyone still reading? ^^....

2009-09-01T00:37:00.003+08:00

Its really hard to maintain a long distance relationship because all we have is phone and the internet. Why can't u just put in more effort in talking to me? Its already bad enough we don't get to see each other... this is the only ONE thing I ask from you. Is it SO HARD? I'm so pissed at this point. Because if I call him while he's asleep.... I'll be the not understanding one... but who will ever understand HOW I FEEL?

If calling me a liar is not your intention then what is? Telling me to be more understanding? Explain yourself... MEN.

2009-08-24T16:23:00.000+08:00

blogger is still cocked up... thought I can blog already.. hmphf..

2009-08-10T23:22:00.002+08:00

Finally blogger is up and running properly but I am not at my computer.. so.. its going to be another boring picture-less blog.

From the very first entry I type and publish in the blog, I never found out how to paragraph. SO, up till this point, everything is still in one 'LUMP'.... can someone tell me how to do it? I figured, its about time (i've already hit 507 paragraph handicapped entries).

This 508th entry is without fail going to be lumped together. -.-... FML.

2009-08-03T17:54:00.000+08:00

There's something wrong with blogger.. I can't change my fonts, colour or upload pictures. Anyway, here's what I've been up to... 1) working at the corner shop 2) slacking my off-days away avoiding the sun n surfing for new gadgets 3) making a long list of electronic wish list (the list is not electronic but filled with electronic gadgets I want!) 4) crossing out dates before meeting my baby again... :) I thought I wouldn't like this type of days... I guess this is a classic way of how non-bummers convert to bummers.. n.. Lovin' it...

2009-08-02T13:19:00.001+08:00

I want to go on a trip! :p...

2009-07-20T00:33:00.000+08:00

:) Miss you badly.

Missing BoBo n Neverfull

2009-07-19T22:22:00.012+08:00

Sometimes I miss the friends I have in melbourne... Because they are always there for me ( we live under the same roof or less than 1km away... ).. Whenever I'm bored of studying, I'll walk over and 'hea' (cantonese for slack) for a good 30mins then go back to my room to continue on my work again. Due to the close proximity of our distance, we are constantly updated with all the on-goings around. These are some pictures of 'hea-ing' in each other's rooms... All I had to say is "ngo ho moon arh!!!" then I'll get entertained!

About to go shower...

Sor po!

Mochichi... ho duck yee arh...

Phillip!

Our infamous LV bag... she's our Neverfull...

Sigh... why is my life so filled with good-byes...

2009-07-16T03:11:00.003+08:00

Sometimes I get so frustrated with life I want to shout at "him" and ask him this...

"Just tell me what to do lar!!!"

How come I feel like I'm walking towards a dead end when everything just started. Why does it seem so totally no hope? I'm pissed. I don't even know who to be pissed at.. life, destiny, time or fate.

2009-07-15T16:37:00.000+08:00

I am welly welly bored :( Anybody has any temp. jobs or playmate-s for me?

2009-07-13T04:39:00.003+08:00

I've been away for 8 days since I've been back from melb for 2 days... haha. I've realized that women who are about to get married are the most knowledgeable ones. In the span of 8 days I've learn about 1) Bridesmaids' dress (alterations, designs...) 2) Types of reception 3) Bridal gown (who, what, where, when and how to get them) 4) Pre-wedding photos (who, what, where, when and how to engage them) 5) Dowry (what you should be preparing and how much) 6) Superstitions (picking the right dates, when you should consult and who you should consult) 7) Types of diet (starvation, yoga, corsets) 8)New homes I feel very knowledgeable now.

2009-07-02T18:36:00.002+08:00

I've just finished unpacking 1.5 (the remaining 0.5 yrs is still lying in brushbox) yrs of Melbourne into my room... I am officially done for the next 2 months before I go bck there again for graduation! :D... I've realized something about me... I've changed. Things which I liked before (when I've considered myself emotionally mature), I detest it now. Hello Kitty is exception. :S... I thought when I've reached emotional maturity, I'll buy the things I like... almost forever. But no... there's still the faux pas going on. :(....

Ok. Seeya.

2009-06-23T17:05:00.002+08:00

I am 2 more papers away from graduation... I can't help to think about what I'm going to do after than concentrate on my econs (i have about 20+ graphs to memorize :( )... I keep thinking about packing and skiing and fine dining and sleeping till noon... and running to my bb's arms in 10 days. I think all that translates into "no mood to study"... I just have to keep telling myself "do u want to fail this semester and stay back?!!"... then I'll get back to my notes. Ok... c ya.

2009-06-20T12:36:00.002+08:00

I just had my first paper yesterday and exams will end in about a week's time and then, its time to leave. To leave this place I loathe ever since I came.... then again I don't hate this place as much as I thought. If I didn't have to leave my friends behind and realize that I've made really good friends here... I really would've seriously considered staying here. But again... no. I miss sg food and sunny weather too much to give up. I'm really leaving in less than 2 week's time. Is this really it? The end of an era is closing in, what's there for me next? Am I the only one feeling a little "displaced" or is everyone the same? :/

2009-06-16T16:34:00.002+08:00

Yes, I know I should be studying.. but this picture is mad cute!

How's everyone else dealing with the flu?

2009-06-10T11:24:00.009+08:00

I know its exams time, but I still got time to BLOG ok!

The beautiful Olinda... Victoria actually has a lot to offer.. besides the food and wineries and the legendary great ocean road. Victoria has many beautiful gardens littered around the state. I don't know why but I thought this garden looked strangely "Japanese"... don't you think so? Can imagine a Geisha walking around with their paper umbrella? I can! I was this ________ near to a gargantuan piece of birdshit on the railing...We went on a rainy day so it was freezing like mad... even colder than Phillip Island. I was SUPER cold.. My toes and face were numb from the cold and the chilly wind. I was thinking of my thick hello kitty fleece blanket a bulk of the time :( I really liked the Yellow gingko leaves (intelligence leaves)... but I was harbouring death because they were so slipperly and the ground wasn't even and I had to "smile"... Say "OHMMM"....I love you baby.. MUACK!

2009-06-07T21:59:00.008+08:00

Economic theories are flooding my head now.. whenever I come across any word that can be found in my economics notes, I get extra sensitive. :( In a bad way, I feel super stress and remind myself that I should head back to studying. The library has been my 2nd home for the entire of next and is going to be for the coming and the week after next to ensure I pull my credit average up a notch. Even though I'm complaining, some parts of me are actually enjoying the experience... because it is kind of fun studying with your friends on a large table and munching chips whilst studying. Occassionaly, we'll stop for a chat and try to constrain ourselves when we are laughing too loudly...:D... I'll miss this when I graduate.

I miss the carefree days I spent with him in Melbourne... :( We wanted to go to Fitzroy park but ended up at the Royal Melbourne Museum.. because, we got so lost we just kept driving around and around the city. So when I saw a park I just said "Aiya, just go this one!!"... We were so lucky, the Royal Melbourne Museum is so pretty. The long long long patch of grass and tress on the side leading to the entrance of the museum reminded me of some postcard pictures that made me wish "I was really there". Because it was Autumn, the fallen leaves added a contrasting colour to the green grass... I think it made the entire place more romantic. Instead of sitting down and savouring the moment, we were hustling each other to pose for pictures before sunset... =.=. We are so asian. Pose pose pose. Its like I can never get enough of you... I hope to be the one and I hope you'll be the one...

2009-06-05T14:19:00.012+08:00

I'm eating this damn delicious micro-waved pasta that is 97% fat free (probably 100%not fat free anymore since I added a gargantuan handful of cheese)... I'm really going to miss this when I go back Singapore.. its just super delicious. yumm yumm...

I finally got to go to Mount Dandenong for scones and tea (because we were so hungry, it became lunch and scones and tea). I live on dandenong road and the restaurant is only 30mins drive away and yet, I've never been there until just 2 weeks ago. Now I know the reason behind the buzz about Miss Marples.. cos its DAMN DELICIOUS. I don't know how they make their welsh fingers but its like..... heaven every bite. ...Pretty leaves...

Obviously, we ordered too much. We had to wait about 1.5 hr because we didn't make any reservations on a Saturday. But the wait was worth it albeit it made us a bit too hungry and we kept gorging instead of savouring the good food slowly. The service was really bad though, considering it being almost a tourist destination, the waitress just couldn't be bothered to be patient or nice or smile, and they kept looking around when you tell them your order... I hate that. Its like can you "focus". It highly predictably that the orders will come out wrong because... they just were not paying attention to ME (le customer).

Autumn leaves are falling, winter is coming :( But the colour is really pretty...

Cindy looks like a little kid =.= Again, cindy likes using her own hands to "pose" Us

2009-06-02T19:49:00.017+08:00

I didn't die. I've just been really busy:)

He came to my continent to celebrate my 22nd with me... even though I wasn't really excited about getting older but I was really happy. During the time we were together, we went to many places... then I realized, actually I haven't been to many places in Victoria even when I've been here for about going 2 years... I guess I've been going home too much and too hastily (=.=). Frankston beach Despite the dodgy-ness of Frankston, I think the beach is really pretty... plus the great weather :) At Sofia's We went to Rye beach (we weren't shiok-ed to the max by the awesomeness of Australian beaches)... The little huts looked like the cover of the visit "Mornington" booklet.. or is it the exact one? But the huts we saw were not as nice as expected. The colours were less vibrant somehow. Also, we still didn't know what actually goes on in the house. It cannot be surfboards because there is practically no wave action there... n the waters are too shallow for fishing... mayber they are just beach houses during summer. He got sick of my "signature smile" so I improvised a little bit after him ranting "sexy! playful!....." But after looking at the shots I totally understand what Miss Jay (from America's next top model) said when he/she said "Limited frames to choose from"... I had almost the same smiles =.=.... New dulux wash and wear paint or Nippon odourless paint (good advertisements that have been embedded in my brain ... =.=) Our best attempt to look "Korean drama-ish"..*****

On another note, I feel deeply disgusted with the selfishness of people. Some people just get so lucky with it I begin to lose faith in Karma (because I don't see them getting it). Is this how some people turn into "playing God" n punishing these people when they don't see justice being put into place? I guess so. Unless you think you have nothing to hide and be afraid of, then carry on being who you are... but never underestimate the power of truth. Because in most cases, it just changes everything.

2009-05-19T10:31:00.002+08:00

I'm typing on behalf of a super elated denise who is twirling her hair with her index finger and giggle at herself. A disgusting sight of a woman who is clearly thinking about "something". She can't talk to someone and focus on whatever that person is talking because she's just too "into her own world". I bet if her Case studies assignment gets a P- she'll still giggle keep her finger in her hair... or maybe she'll say "I'll just study harder for exams lor" then she'll carry on walking in her zig-zag fashion and giggle again.

Ok... MY BOYFRIEND IS F**KING COMING TOMORROW AND I'M DYING (I'LL PULL IT TOGETHER FOR HIS ARRIVAL) OF EXCITEMENT.... *HYPERVENTILATES*

2009-05-17T16:23:00.002+08:00

This mini-glorist is super stubborn and she's still tagging my cbox thinking what wk is said is right... SO i went to see what her blog is all about.

OK MINI-GLORIST, I'LL LET U ADVERTISE HERE IF U GIMME 20% OFF UR CLOTHES WHENEVER I ORDER AND I'LL EVEN WEAR IT AND TAKE PICTURES (post it online) AND TELL PEOPLE THAT I BOUGHT I FROM YOU AND THROW IN AN ADVERTORIAL! GOOD DEAL??

You should check your hits once I typed the above statement... its pretty effective. Because if I read this statement from a friend, i'll definitely go there and buy clothes.. not because I have "shopper's tourettes" syndrome.

2009-05-16T11:55:00.002+08:00

What is the rest of the world doing today?

The term "rest of the world" reminds me of my international economics.. =.=. How pathetic.. now whatever I do, I am reminded of what I've learn.

Ok, again... What is the rest of the world doing today?

While I'm writing away on my 9000 words assignment... by the way, this is my SECOND 9000 words assignment because I'm taking 2 heavyload marketing units this semester when usually people split 1 unit per semester. I feel like a machine... typing n typing n typing n counting the number of rows n columns for the tables :(. Ok, I'm gonna stop trying... whatever I type is all about school :(I'm becoming a geek.

*4 days and counting...

2009-05-12T10:18:00.002+08:00

Its scary when u live with a bunch of lazy students... u get the lazy bug. And..... all we do is shuttle from each other's room and talk about nonsense n gossip about the China girl whom we think is pregnant but she didn't utter a single "pregnant" or "baby" or "deferment" word. But we are all like 90% sure =.=! Soon, we'll have an album full of our daily life pictures... and videos..

***

*9 days and counting....

2009-05-10T11:25:00.003+08:00

The truth... Sometimes when I become aware of the rate I am going, I feel so scared that I might end up in a heartbreak that I will never be able to trust my own instincts again. Its like u've been proven wrong so many times. Its like a pair of feet, I develop callouses to prevent my own skin from getting raw (ok, weird analogy but u get the drift right?). I try to protect myself but I feel like an addict wanting to get into it more and more. Resulting in countless delusion and make beliefs. Therefore, I feel really sorry whenever I meet someone new and I can't just jump into the whole ride and believe again like what I did when I was younger (before everything else was filled with lies and passports =.=). But now, I'm starting to believe again... and my mind is running wild ideas on what we can do in the future... :) I love u bb...

2009-05-08T16:03:00.007+08:00

Because the internet connection seems quite good today so I've decided to blog and upload many many pictures. I'm not sure if its the weather but the internet has been really slow. Just try and imagine every page loading as slow as facebook when u r viewing pictures... that's how frustrating it has been. I've been really busy with assignments and I had my first ever individual presentation in Monash today. It's been.... many years (since ngee ann days!) since I had my last stand alone and talk to the whole class experience...AND i had to present to this intimidating marketing tutor. He's like the Mr. Know it all and whatever u are about to say he would probably tell u... "I already knew that, NEXT!" or "U r boooring me!!".. and people would return to their seats n stab themselves (kidding). Luckily, my extreme nervous-ness made me forget to click my slides n my speech n made me blabber an unstructured speech. He liked it cos it's short n my body was a moving vertical and horizontal product expansion (I did an "I" n a "t".... how professional). I'm so lucky he's different, if not I would've failed n embaressed myself at the same time..which is TRAGIC (especially since I'm an asian). Plus, he liked my personality.... U think I can get him to write a referral?? Anyway... here are pics of last wkend! Which I hope would repeat itself again... so I would start on my 9000words assignment earlier...

Mr. Incredible's chin... heh..

Polaroid abuse.

Our room. Everything is touch-screen.. heh He had a literal "CONCERT" that night... That's it... now back to the marketing plans:(

2009-05-03T22:31:00.002+08:00

Another weekend of pure slack and procrastination... *yawns* I haven't done anything really brain stimulating this entire week... which made me "fully rested" for the next really hectic one :( 1 Presentation and 2 assignments due... why am I still here? ZZzzzZZ *** It is during crisis, u get to see a real side of a person true and clear. But it is also the worst, because usually that is when u need them. Often I feel disgusted with the ugly side of a person.. be it selfish or just plain nasty. I really wish they would just keep pretending to be nice and keep that side of them to themselves.. that way, I find it easier to get by my time here. Even though this thought has haunted me for the past 2 years that I've been here... for once I acknowledged it and wanna scream "I just wanna f**kin get out of this shit hole."

2009-05-02T15:08:00.004+08:00

The only way to complete an assignment sooner is to start procrastination early...

*procrastinate, procrastinate...* Its finally the weekends again!! I went to my first ever concert.. it was Alex Fong's and Kary's (hk singers)... I fell asleep for about 3 songs =.= Dor and I trying to look like how cindy usually looks like when gorging... haha.. Now its another weekend.. huhuhuhu..

HOR-WEE-DAYYY...

2009-04-26T16:48:00.007+08:00

Snaps from Xinzi's new baby.. =.=

Look forward to the next!! :)

2009-04-20T18:38:00.001+08:00

U make me very happy... I hope my shoulder will always be a place for u to lie on when u r tired.. n I hope u won't kill me for this picture.. Heh heh...

2009-04-04T13:15:00.002+08:00

I'm wrapped up in my hello kitty fleece blanket in front of my notes and books.. but I simply have no mood to start on anything :(. Something is bothering me... but I don't really know what is it. I keep wondering... my mind strays to places that it shouldn't have gone. Now, whatever that is bothering me is bothering me EVEN MORE. I don't have a solution for it... I just want to say... Don't give up on me right now..because if you do, I don't know what I'll become.

2009-04-01T20:16:00.001+08:00

Am I head over heels?

My blog needs a serious re-vamp.... because I'm too old for "hear her sweetest surrender". Volunteers please!

2009-03-28T10:47:00.002+08:00

Having a guy walk out on me is not new to me... the pain seem to stay even when its been over for so long and I've already started a new chapter with someone less inclined to walk out on me. I hate that person for doing that to me. Because of him, I can't appreciate love with open arms... I get scared and keep thinking about losing it. I hate you.All the empty promises. All the fake kisses. All the hugs you gave and you didn't mean it. Seriously. I hate you.

2009-03-25T13:03:00.003+08:00

Is there like a machine where u key assignment questions and it gets done? I hate assignments. Actually, its only in melbourne i see people crying on the streets. This morning, I saw a china lady walking past me and she was sobbing. She's not the first one (third or fourth i guess). I am beginning to think... its melbourne. Everyone wishes to be somewhere else. :( When I see couples kissing... I feel a pang of jealousy. I have to supress this new form of minor insanity in me... that is new to me. :( Ok.. back to my 32pages case study that is due tomorrow... :(

2009-03-11T12:34:00.003+08:00

I really hate the research part of any assignment.... because whenever I find enough journals.... I keep thinking "would there be a better one behind...." then i keep searching n searching. Then... nothing. Then... I find myself at facebook.com to reward myself for having spent X no. of hours on my assignment when in fact, 40% of the time was spent on looking at irrelevant journals hoping to find one that has my assignment question as the title of study (which NEVER happens).

&@#@$#

:)

2009-03-07T14:57:00.003+08:00

I'm smiling ear to ear... I've always planned this kind of surprises for people but I never really got one myself.

Sometimes I wish I could just squeeze u!!

Thank you BB for making the effort.:)

It is well worth it to make get angry sometimes...heh heh.

2009-03-05T16:21:00.003+08:00

I am waiting for time to bring us closer... the forces of nature doesn't always go my way. ***

School started. Melbourne's weather is REALLY BAD. Everyday is cold cold cold... I miss warm sunshine through my blinds in the morning then I'll curse at it and reach out for my eye mask. Now I just hate to lift my blankets n get naked then be in a dilemma on what to wear. :( Where r the last bits of summer?

2009-02-26T15:24:00.001+08:00

Blackberry bold is driving me crazy... but I still like it. :) ** I'm going back...tonight. See u there tmr... Actually, I'm not as sad as I thought because.. time flies n soon everything will fall into place. I hope what I am about to do is worth it.

2009-02-20T01:48:00.004+08:00

I.feel.emo.

I don't understand the cosmic purpose of everything.

I just can't jump into this whirlpool without calculating the risks... I used to be able to. I was a believer. After many years of heartbreaks and some really bad heartbreaks... I keep questioning. Is that good or bad? I find it utterly unfair. Because if we've met earlier, I wouldn't be like this. The deeper I go, the harder it is to let go. Why did I let it happen when I know it was going to be hard... but I couldn't not let it happen. Its just not me.

feeling the blues

2009-02-19T15:08:00.002+08:00

School is starting in about a week's time and its time to bid my sunny island good-bye...:( I am so not looking forward to... - Missing home - Missing the food - Missing friends - Missing going out at 5pm - Missing the convenience of public transport - Missing the convenience of not having to care about bills - Missing rude Asian service people - Missing all the Chinese faces on the streets Someone asked me this before.. "how bad can melbourne be?" I can't answer... I think I just really hate the locals.

On a total random note............

2009-02-17T03:41:00.000+08:00

I like him more today! Yipee...

v-day

2009-02-16T01:57:00.002+08:00

I've gone silent for awhile... I've been getting lazy to blog. I have such bad memory recently, I can't remember what I did in the day :( Its nice to see many of my friends enjoying valentines' day with their other half :). I spent it shopping with my parents and watching how my dad put up with our shopping at ZARA at the ever crowded Vivocity ( i really hate that place... period. ). It was so packed with couples, its hard not to separate one couple by walking in between them. The worst is.... couples bringing their BABIES along... I hate prams. I just don't understand why do u have to bring your baby around a mall when its filled with germs and angry people like me. AND... the mummies or daddies seem to LOVE ramming their prams up my toes or at my heels. If u r too distracted with the on-goings around you then remain distracted n NOT bring your sleeping baby along. Its not like they can help you decide what to buy and what not to buy...

Ok i forgot... this is suppose to be an entry filled with love.

2009-02-12T22:22:00.000+08:00

Smile more.. think less.. be more impulsive :)

2009-02-05T02:35:00.002+08:00

I intend to disappear from the face of my blog for ... an unknown period. Heh. This year's valentines' day.. I'll spend it with my first love... clothes.

Ok byebye.

I'm back to where I started.. the decision between a Balenciaga or Chanel.. or a Marc (new contender)..

2009-01-19T23:24:00.003+08:00

On certain days I feel strong enough to put my past behind me.... on certain days I get irrationally angry at u for causing so much pain.... on certain days I feel that I'm in denial... on most days I feel stupid, because actually u didn't promise me anything. It was me who expected too much from u... because I didn't think you will fall below my expectations. :/ Anyway... today is the day when I really want to hold on to the people who won't disappoint me.. :D In fact, they always exceed my expectations. I feel blessed for all that :)

2009-01-16T00:53:00.004+08:00

Too lazy to update anything... But i'm still very alive in my favourite island (which i'll trade in for maldives...anytime) :DI seriously miss those times :(

...

2009-01-08T02:22:00.005+08:00

Been reading everyone's 2008 to 2009 transition and all of their resolutions... I suddenly feel the urge to hurry blog about my transition too! However, now that I'm typing, I can't think of anything to blog about (=.=). I turn back and look at 2008 with disappointment. I never want the bad things that had happened in 2008 to happen again. I've never been so afraid (ok, I'm afraid of needles, roaches and... needles) of things before. All in all, 2008 was quite a bad year.. because the good things can't offset the bad ones (:/). But I don't regret anything (ok, maybe the part where I extended my stay in Perth and caused someone very important to me a huge heartbreak and one side of her fave shoes ... I'm still very sorry:( )... But still, I don't regret all the silly things I've done n said. Because... DENISE (in 2007,2006,2005,2004....) would've done it too. :) In 2009, I'm going to be stronger (not physically...), wiser and faster... I hope. I'm going to get my first ever HD and be the DENISE.... that.... er.... like how Kanye West thought he'll be when he wrote that song (did he even write that song?) !! And... I don't want to be hospitalized anymore!! Especially in Melb... :/ It is sad that as I grow older, I begin to lost faith much quicker than before. I become more cynical... When was the last time I choose to believe the good in all people and let my guard down? ok... just end of last year I did that and look where it got me... *sniggers* But I've learnt to accept the curveballs fate throws better than before. Sometimes when the world is against me... I just grit my teeth and wait... for a better judgment (hmm, on case to case basis..heh). I give up questioning... I give up hating (but I still dislike...)... I give up waiting. One day I will let go... I'm just waiting for the bad days to get lesser and lesser...

2008-12-30T01:06:00.003+08:00

When I have decided to be rude to everyone in HK... I met some nice people :/ My luggage looks a bit scary now... I am afraid that I'll be overwieght:/ But shopping here is so... good. Sigh. AND... they have heaps of hello kitty stores here.. sigh. HK- rude service people- rude PRC-s- crowds= Denise's Disneyland. I haven't decided how to spend my new year's eve... but I think I'll be sleeping while everyone else is partying (as usual). Because its going to be crowded everywhere...

Till next year... c u.

... I keep thinking... how things would been like if *u hadn't walk away...

2008-12-27T23:57:00.002+08:00

I'm liking Hk so farrrrrrr... minus the 55% of unfriendly hk strangers I've met on the streets so far. Many people turn n look at me when I speak mandarin...(=.=). I've been mistaken for a "da lu ren" n times. And when I say I'm not, they probe me more asking where I'm from... Dor says because of the what I speak, I get alot of attention from strangers (=.=). I'm happy! :D and I've been spending... TOO MUCH ( I didn't know H&M x Comme de Garcons is so ex... =.=)

2008-12-16T00:56:00.019+08:00

Ningie's 21st BirthdayI hope u had a kickass time! :D Because I thought the idea of playing childhood toys again is really fun and it brings back nostalgic moments.. of me in my super ugly ponytail hair and huge tummy (I was addicted to stall number 2's fried nuggets and stall number 5's char kway tiao). If not for this birthday, I don't think I'll ever remember my love for APOLLO chocolate wafer! I still feel strongly towards that crunchy and cheap wafer snack!

*love love love*Petals will love u... until we all wither and become potpourri! During the preparation for the party... ok i didn't help prepare much. I ADMIT. Because I can't curl those ribbon things! So I bring joy to the hardworking petals by posing pictures with them! We were all required to bring 1 childhood toy to the party and YiLee pea brought Polly Pocket! How nostaligic! I remembered I had this massive huge one that doubles as a pencil case and Polly's home. But I didn't really like Polly Pocket.. because I find them really rigid! Sometimes I got so frustrated I bite their head... fortunately, they are made of very good quality plastic so I didn't swallow any..=.=. I was an angry kid.

YiLee pea n Sayhoon n Peishan made this kickass large card for Ning.... its huge. And Yilee is damn proud.. I'm sure this piglet as enough pictures for his portfolio.. I assume its a boy cos it doesn't have lashes and boobs.

The venue of the party was at MaySprings condo... Xinzi and I took some lame pics... I still laugh when I look at it... =.=

2008-12-14T03:46:00.002+08:00

I'm not sure if U think I will harm U or do something ... but I think you're stupid. I can't despise U enough. One day, I hope to be there when U get what U deserve... Because its going to be ugly. I believe in Karma and most of the time, it is ruthless.

Keep trying to play GOD.

A very long post ahead

2008-12-12T01:48:00.014+08:00

This is going to be a long long post... when u read it, it is probably the 2nd night I've been working on it with my very limited "photo- editing" skills.. as I've yet to master the uber difficult PHOTOSHOP.

I'm going to summarize my entire holiday (so far) in a nutshell. In a nutshell, I already have over 250 pictures to choose from (with xinzi around, almost every moment is a "Kodak moment"). Plus some indecisiveness, I managed to pick like 103 to show u guys... which is too much. SO.. I'm going to upload until my patience runs out!

This place at Bugis pretty much rocked all my steamboat experience's socks... The soup was so good I kept helping myself to it even when I know I will be super thirsty and probably die of kidney failure due to the amount of msg-s hawkers put in their cooking (suprisingly I did not experience the cut-throat msg aftermath).

Yummy-to!! But the price was a bit steep for steamboat. Its like $55 for a medium steamboat when the contents were just fish, tomatoes, some to-fu and yam... all those items (besides fish) are like $10 per 10kilos. SO.... I felt a bit ripped off. I found a really nice dress from Bysi. But the designer has to f*ck everything up with a bias-cut and some patchwork sewing that makes my tummy look big and add like 20kg to my lower torso. I thought the top part was reaally nice lar... WHY DID U HAVE TO DESTROY THE CROCHET TOP WITH SOME LOUSY SEWING?!! I liked the crochet part alot... look at how "chio" it is laaaa. Next: Meeting Xinzi for lucky plaza roast duck horfun that is mentioned a few million times in this blog because it is so GOOD. I had to put a pic of it even though I look weird. Because.... look at how the roast duck glisten under the light...Ahhhhh. Took a picture with the Christmas tree like how all the tourists in the world would do. Taka's x'mas tree never fail to win the "chio" award...mainly b'c of its extraordinarily LARGE tree. Probably used like 300 bangladeshi workers to lift the whole tree into the mall... They must be thinking we singaporeans have heaps of disposal income.. some kids in their country dying of hunger and here we are paying people Overtime $ to lift a friggin x'mas tree that cannot be eaten/used afterwards. =.=. Make sense right?

Next: Sherman's 21st at his place... It was my first time entering into the "Chan's Lodge". His parents made their home really cosy and warm with pictures of their children.

That's wah man... the theme was retro.. How is a long sleeve burberry with bermudas retro? Which part u tell me... Remember the days we call each other in the morning with this conversation???

Me: Aye... my house here raining leh.. so going or not? Sherman: Huh.. raining arh.. then don't go lor.. Me: But got attendance leh... Sherman: U go then I go... Me: Then see u later at 12pm for lunch at sushi stall

Then we'll meet at 12.30....=.=

The lady beside sherman is not some other random girl... its HIS MOM... She was very steady la.

See See See.. she's very cool.

I love my friends:)

2008-12-09T03:30:00.002+08:00

I had a fulfilling weekend with my lovely friends and petals!! Thanks to you guys I am able to experience a full-on awful indigestion experience last night! :( Its my first really bad one. All because I was too greedy... I had 2 bowls of laksa (thanks to Yaofeng!) and 1 bowl of mee siam within the span of 2 hrs. But it was reaaallly satisfying! If not for the uncomfortable feeling, I would've went for a second serving of the VERY delicious chocolate cake (its has some wafer thing at the end)!! *sherman, save some for me!! Its really good :) The pictures will be up really soon when they are all re-sized by my lovely tech guru, xinzi! :)

I feel blessed to be around my friends... the bulk of my 24hrs... so my mind would not wander to other places. :)

2008-12-05T22:30:00.002+08:00

Ta Daa..Nice? Nice?

I couldn't be bothered to do "Hello Kitty" because I was so upset with the size of my crystals.. and I don't want to spend more $$ buying more crystals! Because I've already spent near $200 on them! My mum is not suppose to know.. :x. Hmm.. Luckily I didn't give up on my skills...

***

I didn't know why I felt so sad last night... and helpless. I didn't want to bother anyone at that time... because I think for the past week, they have been listening to the same story over and over again. :( I just pray for strength. And sisters who have been listening to me... I really appreciate ur time and ur anger!! :)

2008-12-05T00:18:00.004+08:00

After many days of planning..... I have decided to "zhng" (a.k.a pimp) my gadgets!! I know I'm a late-bloomer in the "zhng-nation"... but better late than never!

I did my research and picked the design that I wanna make! I even invested in a $20 mag ... a.k.a the bible of "Zhng-ing" that I think its highly essential for a good start in "Zhng-ing"!! I picked my fave fictional character in the world..... Hello kitty :) I'm.... 1/3 way through my "Zhng-ing"....... now it looks like this!

I don't think I will go ahead and do the hello kitty...:( i will just go n buy the sticker because its too hard!!! :/ And the size of my crystals are too big!!! And the bible didn't really teach me cos its all in Japanese.............. grr.

Nevertheless, I still have faith the my "zhng-ed" DS lite will look good! It HAS TO LOOK GOOD. **

The whole world is going Japan... when is it my turn to go on a crazy hello kitty spree?!!!!

2008-12-04T00:24:00.002+08:00

Kelebin is good friend... who goes to supper with me! :) We can grow fat together... and if I'm not married by 35.. I will marry u!

2008-12-03T11:25:00.002+08:00

50 Things she wishes you knew Secrets every woman keeps from her man With so much help from the universe... why do men still NOT get it?

2008-12-02T01:19:00.002+08:00

Went to see fireworks with the petals at Vivo (no pictures because NOBODY SENT ME) The fireworks were very pretty... the deafening noise and the bright sparkle momentarily took away what has been on my thoughts the whole week. They were really pretty :) And I had a bimbo moment... I was told that the fireworks were french style. Then I asked my friend "so later got the big big LV and Chanel logo is it?" =.=.

2008-11-30T02:18:00.001+08:00

I want to DRIVE! :( Angry Angry Angry... I want to DRIVE!!!!!! Even if I can only buy an Ice cream car!!

hello kitty says HI

2008-11-19T15:31:00.002+08:00

Got pulled over by the traffic police last night and was caught without a seat belt on... its FRIGGIN $500!!!!!!

#@%$#%^$...

The thought of not paying is VERY VERY tempting... because the money will only go to those homeless druggies shelters which.... should be supported by the LOCAL TAX PAYERS' MONEY and not a poor international student's!!!!!!

SHIT...

Besides that traffic police encounter, everything else in my life has been... nice. Occasional mood swings but when its sweet... it is really sweet. :)

Singapore

I'm going back on the 25th this month!! I am so looking forward to it! :) I can't wait to go to Far East plaza and stock up on next season's checkered tops and bermudas and ... and... and... c my family... and friends... and I feel like a nap now.

2008-11-18T13:26:00.001+08:00

Saw a couple quarrel today......... it reminded me how loneliness is a much better feeling than the hurt from someone u love.

2008-11-12T14:38:00.002+08:00

Sometimes, I become so sick of this how this society works I wish I am a really mean person... because they always seem to be laughing on the other side. WHY DO U KEEP DOING THINGS BEHIND ME THAT MAKES ME SO DISGUSTED WITH U!! UR BOYFRIEND OUGHT TO KNOW WHAT A TART U ARE!! POOR HIM... HE STILL THINKS THAT U LOVE HIM!! IN CASE U ARE READING THIS... EVERYONE KNOWS WHAT U HAVE DONE, WE R JUST PRETENDING TO NOT KNOW TO SAVE U SOME PRIDE! If u feel bad, u ought to treat everyone around u better so they won't tell on u...

see me ride some waves...

2008-11-04T09:20:00.002+08:00

Yesterday... I went to facebook 5 times I went online and check my blog 3 times I attempted to read my past entries 2 times I went to bluefly.com and net-a-porter.com 2 times I only studied my notes... once. I seriously have zero motivation to study! 5 More days BABY..........

whisper sweet nothings...

2008-11-02T11:06:00.010+08:00

I'm sooo bored!!! From time to time, I'll look over to my phone and hope to see a sms or even better, RING! Nobody calls me and talk one! Is the world leaving me out?! .. grr. In blink of an eye (how cliche), I'm already studying for my last paper... now holidays feel so surreal... Since, holidays are coming, I have to set my mood right... by browsing through my past holiday pictures...

C....

Remember the nights we slept together? Then we talked until u started tell me to take the train....

I hope Eileen will NEVER forget the day we ugl-fied ourselves for HER! I could have made friends with some eligible bachelors there! Disclaimer: He's hot...

My other love in melbourne... I like ur "pok-pok"... Pok!Pok! Ok... i have to get back to work... :(

2008-11-01T11:55:00.003+08:00

Wah Lau eh...!! Just felt like saying that aloud.. I had fried hokkien mee(singapore style) last night... I Really miss Singapore food! ARGH... Exams hurry end. Me want to see me loved ones...

2008-10-29T11:09:00.004+08:00

Yi lee PEA... I think U R VERY STRONG! Why do people always forget the reason they fell in love with each other when they decide to break up...

Another break up in this month... October feels so long and Jinxed... ***

Last night, I felt very helpless. I couldn't do anything to make you feel better... and I hate that feeling. If it happens again, I hope I can do more. :(

2008-10-27T11:20:00.002+08:00

Angry me to death... I don't like to be left hanging... and unfortunately, I happen to always WAIT. SO please.. reply me. #$@#$#%

Rain

2008-10-27T09:25:00.004+08:00

Finally, its raining in Melbourne...

The rain only lasted for about 10 mins... Dor and I are waiting for the rainbow... I'm making it a big deal because Melbourne has drought la... n not because I "sampat" or emo. I hope *u get well soon... I wish I was there for you too...

2008-10-23T19:57:00.003+08:00

Thank you Mr. M.

Didn't take a pic of the pretty chocolates because once I opened them... it was in my&angela's&cindy's&dorothy's tummy!

2008-10-23T18:14:00.002+08:00

I want a puppy!!!

I want a PUPPY!!!

I don't care...!!!

growls.

the affairs of the heart 2

2008-10-21T22:02:00.007+08:00

My dear friend Calvin told me this today... I thought it was very inspiring... I almost walked out of my house and find some guy to fall in love with (kidding). "...and love isnt that bad, i think i've lost the faith in a relationship too after everything i've been through and everything thats going on today. but i think we(you and i) should hold on to that string, no matter how short it is or how difficult it is to even believe it is there. then at least if it ever comes along one day we wont let the moment pass and we can tug on it, and possibly just possibly a light comes on and illuminates things we've never seen before."

................whoa.

OkThnxBye

the affairs of the heart..

2008-10-20T22:19:00.005+08:00

I always wonder... "what happens to the love when a couple breaks up?" :/ how did love turn into tears, revenge, hatred and anger? Isn't love suppose to be this great thing that make everything dark and gloomy into rainbows and puffy clouds? This week has been a really turbulent week with all the drama coming in all sorts... I've lost someone dear to me to illness.. and witness a breakup. Seeing someone cry over love always make me lose faith in relationships. You walk in full of hope and walk out empty. After tonight, I seriously think my friend deserves a medal for walking out of the relationship without the thought of dragging a sharp object across her neck. After my last break up, I thought to myself... "how much more can I take?"... before I lose faith in everything that has got to do with dependency. Today, my friend told me "Sometimes you scare me... u have no emotions"... =.=. Am I becoming too cynical? Sigh... Or am I waiting for fate to send me someone (hopefully in the shape of Richard Gere) that can turn into a bag of love...? Meanwhile... I should... do the thing that I should do... study. ... I can't wait for exams to be over...

2008-10-19T19:56:00.004+08:00

Amidst my laughter... you left. As much as I thought its not your time but... it doesn't matter anymore. Sigh... I felt a lot of anger... I don't know why I find it hard to accept... Sigh... Everything else seems to insignificant...

2008-10-16T13:31:00.004+08:00

This is the fifth time I'm on my blog... TODAY. How can I be so unfocus-ed........ argh. .... I've made a list of what to do after exams!... heh heh! When I haven't even had my first paper yet.... #$#@$@

Perth is like this..

2008-10-14T17:38:00.013+08:00

This is weird. I can't remember how happiness feels like because its been too long... pfffttt...! I want to be carefree like... last week. Why do we have exams.. :( sometimes i have bimbo wishes like.. someone will go for my exams and I stay in bed and sleep.. Pictures.. of last week.

Perth... is like this.

Perth boys

Made some new friends who are really funny... Perth girls..

Bought some new things that make me a really happy girl...Then lost my fave agnes b necklace.. F**K... its not because its expensive.

I REALLY LIKED IT :( The beach... sadly, i didn't take nice nice pics of myself.. this is the nicest.. Perth makes people grow fat.. Perth makes people wait.. Perth sometimes can be... Ok i have to study.......

2008-10-12T22:47:00.013+08:00

I've evolved... I can't finish a pack of indomie... :s... I usually can. I thought it would be funny if I blogged about my very eventful Saturday night spent in the hospital..

The very painful IV drip... I nearly died when I saw the nurse took out the whole set of supposedly needles.. ok.. i admit, i cried like a baby.

The nurse took like 3 bottles of blood samples.... and I only had mild food poisoning.. =.=. I couldn't stand a needle in my vein so I threw a tantrum and made the doctor take it out.. and he really did. I thought it wouldn't be that easy to convince the doctor but.. it was. I really hated the drip! All I could think about was to rip it off me..!! When we went in, we were like... "eh! take pictures and put it on the blog!". And I obliged.. =.=. I thought it was quite fun.. amidst the nauseous-ness and the fever frying my brains.

Dorothy slacking whilst waiting for my DRIP to finish... I seriously was awake all the time and meditating so I won't rip the IV needles out.. I really hated it.

SO happy... After the doc remove the drip, I couldn't wait to get back home and hug my left "needle-less" arm to sleep... I really HATED that drip thing.. especially the cold sensations... PLUS I only had food poisoning.. why can't they gimme some charcoal pills and send me home... $%$#^%$^... The next morning.. I have inflame tonsils... It still looks visibly swollen.. making my double chin more obvious.. #$#%$#%#$%#

2008-10-11T14:58:00.005+08:00

I fell...

#$@$%^... on the streets... so embarrassing..

Angela is bad influence

2008-10-01T11:50:00.005+08:00

Angela and I decided that we should get something really really expensive that can make us really really guilty so that we'll study extra extra hard... it worked for us last semester. So we ventured into the city and when to..... Hermes, Gucci, Ms. Luis, Louis Vuitton, Bvlgari and Prada. Luckily, this season's almost everything looked hideous.. if not, we would be really clearing our bank account. The most memorable trip was to Prada. We were so excited that it was open because out of 5times we've been there 4 times were closed! SO we unleashed the Prada hunger inside us and as a result, hitting our credit limit, and not able to eat out that night. The service was excellent, she successfully made us want to buy more than just one item... we kept "How much is this? What's the material?". Hereby, I conclude, excellent service=good sales. SO singapore's snotty Dior staff, eat your glum faces up! I've been asked many times about my love for luxury goods... some questions were very provocative. Some ask "Do you need these things to complete you, if so, you're so empty!"... Usually, the person who asks this don't give me time to reply them before they walk off in their high horse thinking that "she won't have a proper explaination". In fact, I do. I don't see luxury goods as a forbidden fruit... its just material. I like fashion, I like the real thing. I don't buy heaps of $30 bags, I buy 2-3 more expensive bags. I don't think they complete what's inside me, I think they complete my outfit and sometimes, they add a sort of personality to my outfit. SO, what's so wrong about it? I don't buy items which I obviously cannot afford, I do have a budget for things because I don't jump out from Gossip Girl or the O.C. I don't starve so I can get a bag or a bracelet... I don't believe in buying things which I can't afford. I am still the same person with or without a Chanel. But of course, I'll get different kind of service at shops. Also, I don't believe in comparing what I have with others. I'm just happy with what I have. Unless you are and animal activitist... but leather are just love. Next stop, Perth.

2008-09-23T20:08:00.003+08:00

Sometimes when I see something funny... I have the urge to tell someone.. someone special. But when i can't think of anyone... That feeling comes.

This is not me... I am not lonely. I'm just......... not being myself lately.

2008-09-23T12:10:00.009+08:00

I'm already in my Spring break mood now.. the problem is, its not Spring break yet. I've lost motivation to go for classes and to answer questions during tutorials.. because I am too tired. :( After submitting my last individual assignment of the semester, I entered a kind of "trance" mode. I felt like I have a hole somewhere in my body ( i know human body already has heaps of holes but I'm imagining myself as a balloon) that makes me feel as if energy is leaking. SO... I hope Spring break would hurry come so... I can re-energize. Btw, I'm going to PERTH during my spring break.. I hope I will enjoy it! :D

I went to the ROYAL MELBOURNE SHOW... like finally. There were heaps of farm animals..eating endlessly... Little cattle-s and sheep-s were really cute.. it reminded me of the show "lamp chops" i used to watch on tv. Remember that lamb with thick and luscious eye-lashes? Farbian and angela with the borrowed Dora hammer... who likes Dora? I think she looks hideous with that hair. Like I said, the farm animals there look as if they have been starved for days before the show because all they do is eat! This is our conquests... I won't tell u how much we spent! Sandra. Me. I think she's really cute.. her cheeks n eyes! We were all freezing from the cold wind and she was "ok"... I was post "cauliflower" ride... I nearly puked. I'm too old for rides. :( Everything... we went home with burnt wallets but handful of... made in china toys.

amidst everything else....

2008-09-13T22:05:00.006+08:00

I no longer feel guilty about blogging when i have an assignment due dangerously near... because it has been happening ever so often this semester. Anyway... We went to FIX last night... its a new (1-2 mths old), over-rated club at Docklands... I'm never going back there again unless I really have to. They played sexy back like twice.. n the dj hardly scratched.

Angela.Farbian.Denise

Farbian is my new housemate living across my room. He enjoys sleeping on the couch downstairs and would've slept there for more than a week until we threaten to rent out his room.

Last night was the first time I helped someone approached a girl for her number.. but i got her friend's instead. Its a bit useless because... its a her friend's number. I don't know her friend was like "yea ok, take my number". At least there's something so I didn't fail as a cupid (not technically, because I didn't make them look into each others eyes n proceed to las vegas for a quickie wedding.. ANYWAY...). Sadly, I didn't get shot by any eligible guys (not that I needed but it would be flattering)... instead, there was this viet guy who asked for my number. My first reaction was to turn to Angela and said "Viet is pretty much war-red out wad!". But ya... i gave him my email. He emailed me "Can i get your number?"... zzzzzz... Angela: Let's go Prada tmr and buy something that will make us very guilty! Denise: Orh.. ok... I wanna go Hermes!!! Angela: Ok we go Collins tmr... Its becoming a ritual, last semester was Chanel this semester we are taking it to Italy. But the guiltiness worked well through exams... heh... n thus, the good results. :D Back to assignment..